Hello? I have a question. Why is it that when in one moment you do something or say something and it totally feels right and you have no convictions, then after, remorse inevitably follows? In an instant you feel retarded, for lack of a better word. Why do the voices win sometimes. They speak so gently before hand then slap you like a dumb dog that just chewed up the furniture. Can you ever be strong enough to keep the words in your mouth and not voice them to crush the mortal being standing next to you? Can you ever be strong enough to not to beat them down with your fist? My soul desires to be kind and righteous, but my heart sneaks around in filthiness.
God, come close. Come quickly! Open your ears, it’s my voice you’re hearing! Treat my prayer as sweet incense rising; my raised hands are my evening prayers. Post a guard at my mouth, God, set a watch at the door of my lips. Don’t let me so much as dream of evil or thoughtlessly fall into bad company. And these people who only do wrong don’t let them lure me with their sweet talk! May the Just One set me straight, may the Kind One correct me. Don’t let sin anoint my head. I’m praying hard against their evil ways!