So this weekend was a long weekend filled with nothing. I did a few things, but came to find that I don’t do nothing very well. I can’t sit somewhere and do nothing, relax, chill, be restful. Recently I have been trying to just take it easy, not be doing something all the time and always on the go. I don’t like it. I don’t like not having something to keep me occupied. I feel useless, unproductive… When its quiet . . . my mind runs and I can’t stop it. Yesterday was fun, just jammin on guitar, chilling at home, watchin some TV, but I didn’t like it for long. I wanted to go do something, be somewhere, or just sleep. I got bored real easy. Maybe I need to discover a long project to do or take up some other kind of activity…I don’t know.
I started house sitting weekend . . . I was excited to get some good quiet alone time with the Lord, but being by myself last night didn’t feel so fun, the house made noises, the bird moved and cooed in it’s cage and I suddenly felt alone. I like being alone, but for some reason, last night it hit me and perhaps the new environment I was staying at didn’t help. The house was hot, the couch was not comfortable, the tv was confusing and I ate too much.
Maybe I am on another journey to learn how to deal with being alone and quiet. It is funny how the devil can come right in there with thoughts to try and confuse you. Either way I am going to try and embrace this time, learn and come out differently. Maybe I am rambling and you may think that I am just ridiculous, but I needed to get this out.