I feel bound to write everything and anything I do or feel. What if I don’t express what is going on inside my head? Or even what is being expressed in my heart? Will I explode?
Right now I am listening to a song called: I Still Want You – Jacob Hanly. He was inspired by the life of the Apostle Peter and wrote it at a really hard time, when like Peter, he felt disqualified, confessing to the Lord that he still loves Him even when he felt like he blew it.
I like the honesty of the words. Sometimes reading the bible and reading about the disciples and people in the Old Testament, I feel that they have it all together, or at least more than I do. I know that David was an adulterer and murderer . . . and I guess reading his psalms, you can see that is where he confessed and redeemed his life back to the Lord. But even so, we can get so bogged with what we are not capable of doing or all the wrong we have done that the thought of getting called by the Lord, we respond this way; “Why Lord? Why would want something torn and dirty and so unqualified? Why am i so enticing to you?” Amidst of feeling this way, like the words in Jacobs song . . . Lord, I still want you, I still love you!
Even though I fail and fall, I never wanna stray too far from home!
I’m running to your heart with a starving thirsty soul, to be near and never let you go. I long for more, something satisfying, anything forever to fill this void inside. Keep me running home, keep me running home. I feel I’m on a journey to find my destination. Excitement slowly rises, I’m dying to go on. I’m running home, I’m running home.